A Commencement Speech by Sam Glaser
It gives me great nachas to stand here with you today. I have watched many of you grow up, either as your music teacher at Hillel or YULA, or as you have befriended my own children, one of whom, Jesse Glaser is wearing a cap and gown today. Some of you are thinking that this ceremony is not a big deal. Some are here because your parents made you show up. Some of the guys are plotting pranks, some girls can’t wait to get the gown off because they think they look fat.
I chose to speak because I want to tell you that this is, in fact, a big deal. Graduates of this legendary institution have gone on to remarkable careers in business, science, law and medicine, becoming powerful leaders in their communities. Some even have gone on to become teachers and rabbis! Most importantly, they have done so as proud Modern Orthodox Jews, fully aware of the presence of God, cherishing every mitzvah, seizing opportunities for chesed. Because they are interfacing with society at large, they have touched countless others with whom they interact. You’ll learn that it doesn’t matter so much what you choose as your career as it does whether you are a Kiddush Hashem, one who is sanctifying God’s name everyday.
At this point in your lives you may not feel that this is priority number one. This is the peak of a period in your lives where you are doing the normal activity called individuation. That means you are rebelling in your own unique way, distancing yourself from your parents and teachers, worrying about what everyone thinks about you, wondering what you are going to do with your life, struggling with a toxic combination of angst and shpilkes. Leaving your parents and siblings isn’t easy but it’s necessary if you’re going to stand on your own. Believe it or not, your occasional ungrateful or obnoxious behavior is a crucial function of your pituitary gland that serves to make your adoring parents want to throw you out of the house.
What’s next for you is the greatest, most exciting ride of
your lives that you will ever experience. How totally amazing to share this moment on the edge with you. You’ll notice that when you tell anyone how old you are you will see a hint of jealousy. You are in the prime of your lives, filled with optimism, ready to change the world. Most of you will be spending a year studying in Israel. That’s the best place in the world to be young, open minded and adventurous while learning about spirituality, learning about yourself and learning how to survive waiting in line with Israelis. This is a magical time when you are on your own and yet you still have your folks helping with the bills and offering advice, even if you pay no attention. People go to Paris to learn about food and romance, to Italy to learn food and art and to Jerusalem to learn about God. It’s said that the air makes you wise and that access to God is a “local phone call.” Around a quarter of you are going straight to college. Mazeltov on getting accepted. I will be davening for your souls.
You see, one of the problems with individuation is that Hashem can get thrown off the bus. Separating from your parents is a good thing. Separating from Hashem is not. Remember the song from kindergarten? Hashem is everywhere. Loving you, giving you breath, keeping your body functioning, arranging all the unique circumstances in your life. Hashem gave us our awesome Torah that is the deepest source of wisdom, insight and self-help advice in the universe. Torat Emet…the Torah is truth. Our Christian and Muslim friends understand that the Torah is indisputable and so, perhaps reluctantly, they must incorporate it in their own traditions. Torah is the key to our eternity. Every mitzvah is a once in a lifetime chance to make that particular moment holy. Kedoshim Tihiyu…be holy. That’s our mission statement. So don’t run from Hashem. That just doesn’t make sense.
As you leave YULA, you will be responsible for your own nurturing of this relationship. A relationship is as strong as the weakest partner. If I think you are my best friend but you only call me back once a month, we have a once a month relationship. God loves us so much that we always will be the weakest partner! You have learned with your rabbis and teachers a profound 3000 year old system to keep this relationship on fire. Are you sick of the Sh’moneh Esrai? From now on, no one is going to make you do it. Find those tefillin annoying? Well, now you can just leave them in the bag if you so choose. Or you can choose life. You can choose to bring Hashem into your every day with a blessing over everything that goes in your mouth. You can act as Hashem’s partner in creating the world by perceiving the impact you have in your heartfelt tefilah. You can hear Hashem’s patient voice in every word of Torah that you learn. You can touch everyone you meet by serving as an example of what it means to be a fully invested Jew. Hashem is ready to make miracles for you, to make your life amazing, to hear your requests in your prayers and make your dreams come true.
Observant Jews live in a parallel universe. We are totally engrossed in the material world and yet we are removed, separate, spiritual. You have learned techniques in school and from your parents to maximize both worlds. Modern Orthodox Jews have a particularly challenging path: we don’t throw away all connections with secular culture and the internet. We understand that we have to be “in the world” in order to be a light unto nations. Whether you realize it or not, you are all Jewish leaders! People will see how you act and judge all Jews accordingly. You’ll be explaining your dietary habits, your kippah, why you have to leave early on Fridays. It’s not easy to walk on this tightrope and maintain your footing. In college the balance gets even trickier with your academic mentors preaching secularism and even anti-Israel sentiments. That’s why today is a big deal. Your parents have spent a small fortune to put you in an environment like YULA, one that has empowered you with our eternal traditions to keep you on track.
Here’s another reason why today is a big deal. Look around you at your graduating class. These people are your brothers and sisters. You have a lifelong connection with one another, a deeper bond than you’ll make with your future college buddies and business peers. All those tough classes and school trips and demanding teachers and issues with the administration have served as the glue to connect you. What you have with each other is real achdut (brother/sisterhood.) And achdut is priceless. We learn that our Temple was destroyed because of lack of achdut. And the restoration of achdut brings us closer to our redemption. Invest in your YULA friends. Treasure them. Count on them. Some of your peers left YULA early to go straight to City College or wherever. They missed out on this opportunity. Take a moment to be grateful for the circumstances that allowed you to make it all the way. You got the real diploma and not a GED. Most importantly, you got achdut.
Finally, I urge you to keep your Judaism fresh. Judaism is a lot of work. It can get tiring and repetitive. It can be expensive! If you keep a minimum daily requirement in your lives, like morning tefilah, learning parsha shavua and kashrut, you’ll know when you are losing it. You have spent the past twelve years growing into a superstar YULA graduate. Don’t lose it! If you can’t find the motivation inside, do it for the wrong reasons. Do it for your parents. Do it for your rabbis and teachers. Do it for your unborn children. Do it for the 6 million. Even if you’re not positive that God exists, do it just in case God does exist! You’ve probably heard the Gemara, “lo lishma ba lishma” (not for it’s own sake become for it’s own sake.) In other words, Just do it!
So, my friends, thanks for your attention. Please continue to give your parents and teachers nachas. Choose life. Live to the fullest. Be true to yourself. Learn to balance “you-ish” AND Jewish. That is the unbeatable combination that will guarantee you success in every part of your life. The YULA Class of 2015 is a stunning, shining group of remarkable young people that will make the world a better place. This world needs your help in a big way. Stand proudly, YULA graduates, and know that you carry with you the hope of your families, the hope of the Nation of Israel and a brighter future for all mankind.
December is a time for new possibilities. Thanks to “holiday spirit” the world becomes a kinder, more colorful place. I just returned from Manhattan where the midtown buildings were transformed into magnificently wrapped presents. Even the cops were friendly. December means that our fiscal year is ending and we ponder what we might do differently when January comes around. Inclement weather demands that we spend less time outdoors, more time with inside activities that make us more internal, intellectual, introspective. The Torah portions of the season deal with dreamers; between Jacob, Joseph, the butcher, baker and Pharaoh we have eight dreams to cross-reference and inspire our own musings. Finally, Chanukah calls on us to fill the darkest, shortest days of the year with light and we are challenged to unveil our own unique light unto the world.
method of inspiring transformation. Like me, he performs and teaches for a living. But I now see that there is a tremendous difference in our approach, thanks to “The Possible You,” a powerful seminar that he has founded. He takes responsibility for every one of the attendees in his Jerusalem-based twenty-hour program. He will work with anyone who is not getting it, and relentlessly pursue those who bail before “graduation.” With an intensely paced delivery of profound insights coupled with music, visual aids and group sharing, a crucial set of life tools are communicated to the full spectrum of learners in all modalities. The results are nothing short of astounding and my brother’s reputation is growing exponentially. He has cobbled The Possible You from the wisdom of Kabbalah, Mussar and Tanach. It’s tailor-made for the Jewish neshama. Now with several thousand graduates, myself included, I see The Possible You changing the world.
Over twenty hours, strangers become allies and loving friends, taking a stand for each other’s success in life. They open the door to estranged family members and experience real healing for wounds gathered over life’s journey. It sounds too good to be true, right? I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it with my own eyes.
I just returned from my distant cousin Gene Samson’s funeral. I must admit I left my home this morning a bit frustrated that I was going to “lose” half my day and had to wear a black suit on a 90 degree LA scorcher. But as soon as I entered the mortuary I was immediately uplifted by the faces of my extended family and felt the soul-satisfaction of performing the ancient and powerful mitzvah of participating in the burial of a loved one.
couple married for over 50 years, wearing white, exploring the verdant burial ground of our extended family. I got to cry simply because I love my parents so much, because I miss the relatives that have left us, because I’m human and have a God-given need to open my heart and just have a “good cry.”
Isaac says “Hineni,” (here I am) and seems to be complicit in his own demise. Avraham is asked to destroy everything he has worked for. The midrash tells us that the angels were crying tears of disbelief and awe at the commitment of our patriarchs and that these tears fell into Isaac’s eyes and led to his blindness. These angelic tears are the tears of injury, tears that are real and damaging and stay with us forever. We have all experienced crises, trauma and tragedy. The question is if we let the damage sabotage us or if we rise from the ashes stronger and more deeply connected to our Creator.
alone. This is the time to make a written accounting of who we are, who we want to be, who we’ve wronged and need to ask for forgiveness. Only when we are at peace with our friends and relatives and in touch with our personal mission can we let the cries of the shofar enter our hearts and tear down the walls of complacency.
Growing up in suburban America during the 60’s included a certain rite of passage: as you drove down the freeways, if you wanted to hear your favorite songs, you needed an 8-track tape player in the dash. In one clunky cassette about the size of six iphones, a CD worth of material would play in gorgeous stereo. There were a few caveats. You couldn’t rewind. And when you least expected it, a metallic piece of tape signaled that it was time for the tape head to switch tracks. That meant a somber moment of silence in the middle of movements, sometimes in the middle of your favorite song. It wasn’t ideal but it was certainly more graceful than trying to balance your record player when changing lanes.
Shostakovich and Beethoven’s 5thsymphonies and assorted musicals. This was also the car that became my college ride at the University of Colorado, Boulder. A favorite collegiate pastime was stuffing the car with a dozen freshmen from the dorms, cranking the tunes and doing donuts in the Safeway parking lot on snowy nights.
the show started and was treated to a few hours of symphonic bliss. Beethoven’s 5thaffects me in the most visceral way. It’s just not that I share my birthday with the great composer…I have memorized every last passage intimately and during the concert I had to force myself not to conduct. I was even ready for that measure mid-movement when my family 8-track tape would clunk as it switched to the next section.
Sinai was our wedding day. Our exclusive covenant with the Creator of the Universe. Marriage is the melding of two hearts together into an altogether new entity. Thanks to the exclusion of all other potential mates, a couple has the chance to blossom into a symbiotic oneness. Thanks to our willingness to discard idol worship and focus on the laws of Torah, we explode into the full blossoming of our potential as members of God’s holy nation. It’s no surprise that Jewish law is called halacha, or path. It’s a pathway, not a goal in and of itself. By striving to sensitize ourselves to this path we hear God’s voice, feel God’s love supporting our every step.
by Sam Glaser
Our kids go berserk when we reprimand them. Sometimes it’s fun to video their reactions. No, I don’t post the tantrums on Facebook. Thankfully they are usually considerate and know when they are crossing the line. They have also learned when to steer clear of their mother just by reading the look on her face. But when we have to lay down the law, we let them freak out for a while and find that afterwards they are usually more sweet and loving than ever. I think they intuit that structure in their lives is crucial for them to flourish. They also see their peers that are spoiled rotten usually turn out just that way: rotten. We emphasize to them that as Jews we connect the holiday of Pesach with Shavuot because we realize that celebrating freedom is great but it’s not just about escaping slavery. Our true goal is the freedom to receive Torah at Sinai and thereby bask within a powerful covenant with God. Rules + consequences = freedom.
Their involvement is welcome and cherished. My father has taken upon himself the job of worrying for me. It’s quite a relief that I don’t have to worry for myself since my dad does such a good job of it. Many of our conversations evolve from small talk about our day-to-day to an analysis of all the things that are wrong in my life. It took me years to understand that my father isn’t trying to wreck my good mood. He shows his love with his concern that I remain focused on what needs doing for my family’s well being. His broken record repetition of the state of my finances or the costs of sending my kids to private school is actually pure, unadulterated love, hidden in the “garment” of worry.
Today I braved the LA drizzle with my family to attend a book signing of a young woman who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer when she was twenty. As soon as she was able to get over the sense of victimhood, cancer gave her the incentive to take life seriously and the awareness that she had special gifts to counsel those in similar straits. The audience was overjoyed to hear that this year, eight years after her lifesaving surgery, she gave birth to healthy twins. Her sister donated the eggs and thanks the miracle of in vitro fertilization she and her husband are parents of darling daughters. At the nadir of her struggle it’s unlikely that she would have uttered the words she said today: “I’m grateful for my cancer.”
They do a perfectly good job finding us. Two months ago I broke my foot. I survived the ignominy of being pushed in a wheelchair on the Sabbath, barely mastered crutches, and had my low back go out due to the imbalance of walking around in a Frankenstein boot. Thank God I’m doing much better now but I have a brand new sense of appreciation for my mobility. I’m much more sympathetic to those in wheelchairs, to those who suffer with inadequate access, crumbling sidewalks and death star potholes. Only afterwards did I recognize God’s kindness in that my injury transpired in the only two-month window in my schedule when I didn’t have to get on an airplane and tour.